Going over to visit Mayzie; probably for the last time, opened a whole range of emotions i haven't felt in a while since Gizmo my border collie was put down last year. I started feeling all those feelings i felt when we lost Oreo; Conrad's cat, a year before Gizmo and then instantly thought about Mushu and Eli, the other animals we had to let go. It amazes me how we can have such a connection with animals. Their passing literally feels like loosing a loved one in your family. Now i have Edison who is 3 and he doesn't understand what death is. He loves Mayzie so so much and when he realizes that she isnt here anymore I don't how to explain that to a 3 year old? He was much too little to remember Oreo and Gizmo so this is the first death he will experience. I know she is only a pup but to him, that is his world. Really the only dog he sees on a daily basis and has always had in his life up until now. I don't want him to feel that pain i felt when i watched Gizmo and Oreo slip away. That is the worst feeling. Even worse, when he does experience a family death that is close to his heart, to feel the pain through everyone and miss having that person around. How do you prepare for that? How do you explain?
The only thing i can think of is the memories, and what we have to look forward to in the future.
I don't know if you are the believing kind but I believe that there is a place up above for us being prepared and there is no death, no sickness, no sadness, no anger. I CANNOT wait for that day when we can leave this depressing, dangerous place and be safe and happy for eternity. I don't know if our pets we lost will be there but i like to think they will be. I know that when that day comes I will understand the reason they are or are not but in the here and now, it brings me comfort in knowing they might be. I don't want Edison to experience this sadness we experience on a daily basis. That light burning in his big bright blue eyes, i hope he never looses that. I know that in reality, when you get older to understand and comprehend death, that light, gets dimmer and dimmer. That phrase, stop growing up.... i want that for Edison. This happiness and knowing nothing better, i want to freeze and hold onto for forever.
Mayzie will be missed, just like all the other amazing pets in my life. I know that a peice of Kathy's heart will be gone with Mayzie but i have hope that she will always hold to the memories, just like i hope Edison and the rest of the family will.
